i'm dribbling my fingers on my forehead in my futile attempt to produce meaningful ramblings like my best friend's on her blog. no good amount of wishful thinking will ever turn me to be like her. but i digress.
as much as i want to type how crazy my writing absence has been, i can't because it just wasn't. sure, a spontaneous and carefree trip with the fave workmate/sex buddy/best friend was fun. i also enjoy the sleepovers and cuddling sessions. it's even funny how he's now a staple in my "conservative" household that even my son anticipates his presence. but i need certainty. i thirst for commitment. i crave for validation and publicity. thing is, i am not sure he's in for that as much as i want him to.
should i wake up from the delusion that maybe, he's my ken bailey?
will he budge out from my warner-moretti-filled world?
does my materialism tick him off too?
i don't want to lose him. but..
(sigh)
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