red

repulsed. excluded. i do not think i belong. nor did i ever. again, i was just the convenient option.

i think i deserve to be validated - online, with family, with friends.

    

2 years, i was hopeful.

your mother hates me 

she showed it in ways i didn't think i deserved

worst is, you were okay with it 

rat had to squeak before you even noticed.

my mom was right all along.

i should have just suffered alone, 

than go through this shit again.

should i let you go now?

im sorry if youre under stress.

but arent we all?

you always say your company is your baby, your pride, your honor.

and it breaks you to see it fall. it breaks me to see you fall with it.

i thought i helped build you. should it be fair to say you are my baby?

and you falling breaks me as well?

i am your partner. i have suffered and will still willingly suffer with you.

i hugged you earlier but you were stiff. i do not feel your warmth any longer.

and you always have the coldest rebuttal to defend your actions.

i just wish you could tell me the truth.

"sarah, i have no plans of marrying you."

"sarah, i do not see a future with you."

"sarah, i do not love you the way you want me to."

it's as easy as that, francis.