assumptions

 2 days since i saw his cash transfer to a stranger at 2 am. 1 day since I confronted him about it. 0 day and we are still both moping about it. 

i just cant seem to get over the fact that during that night, i asked him how he felt when he entered the bed hammered and said "pagod ako". did i assume something happened? no.

but he did. he assumed i nosed on his phone, looked the number up, talked to the person and for whatever reason, confirmed what i allegedly already had in my head. i didn't.

prior to this, he assumed that when i kiss him when he gets home, i smell woman in him. i smell mistrust. i smell dishonesty. i don't.

his anger is overwhelming. sometimes i ask why i get all of it. tears always well up in my eyes and i try my best to keep it in.

he doesn't know i'm tired. he doesn't know he is my choice. he doesn't know i choose to believe what he promised 6 years ago. but i guess he forgot.

he should just say what he wants, what he feels. i am getting tired of being his emotional punching bag.